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Su Yun, 60, who became deaf in one ear after she was beaten by her homosexual husband, recently divorced. Among the 30 who were tested for HIV, two found themselves infected. Nearly 40 of those surveyed reported symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases. In addition, 90 percent of the women developed symptoms of depression and 20 percent of them endured repeated beatings. Li Xianhong, of Central South University, Changsha, who initiated the Tongqi seminars, said a report will be formulated to help create legislation to protect Tongqi in the future.Ī 2013 survey, conducted by Zhang and her team, of nearly 150 women who had either married or divorced gay or bisexual men, or who were dating such men, showed that 70 percent of the respondents suffered long-term emotional abuse from the men, often characterized by sexual apathy. "It shows huge progress that these Tongqi were able to stand up to protect their rights," said renowned sexologist Zhang Beichuan.ĭr. Three of the 15 Tongqi who attended the first seminar held last year are now divorced. Yang has called for legal changes regarding the distribution of property and child custody in such divorce cases to encourage Tongqi to break free.
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In addition, Chinese law does not define the gay man as culpable in the marriage breakdwon, meaning no compensation is given to the women, and the law offers no privileges for these women to obtain custody of their children. As a result, judges often do not grant the divorce, and the women need to file again at a later date, Yang said. Most Chinese gay men conceal their homosexuality, which makes it difficult for women to collect evidence of their husband's sexual habits and orientation, said Yang Shaogang, a Shanghai-based lawyer who is experienced in "gay-straight" divorce cases. She finally had enough and made up her mind to insist on divorce, despite hesitating for the sake of her son.Ī lawyer told Qing that even if she filed a divorce lawsuit it might not go in her favor. When she finally questioned her husband about his sexual orientation, he confessed but refused to divorce as he feared it would ruin his reputation.įor attending last year's Tongqi seminar, Qing was insulted by her husband and his family. You look ugly when you do that.' He liked nothing about me, so I kept trying to change myself to please him," she said.
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Two years ago, a TV program focusing on the tragedy of "gay-straight" marriages helped Qing overcome the doubts she had about divorcing her husband who recoiled from all physical contact from the moment their son was born and seldom showed her any care. Many Chinese believe continuing the family bloodline is an inescapable male duty and not having children constitutes a failure.Īt a seminar on the protection of Tongqi, held in the central Chinese city of Changsha, Hunan Province, late July, Qing shared her story and encouraged other women in her situation to pursue their happiness with courage. In a country where gay marriage is illegal, the majority of gay men chose to marry women and have children because of the pressure from their parents and society. For these women, the road to a successful divorce is often a rocky one due to obstruction from their husbands and a lack of clear legal support. Qing is one of many unlucky women in China known as the "gay wives," or Tongqi, who unwittingly marry closeted gay men.
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He had transferred all our assets to his parents." "He was well prepared for the day of the divorce. "He said I wouldn't get a penny or the custody of my son because I asked for a divorce without evidence to show he was wrong," said Qing who is in her forties. Qing, from southwest China's Guizhou Province, ended her sexless, loveless marriage months ago, after an arduous negotiation with the man who had constantly belittled her throughout their 13-year relationship. She has no regrets, but for Qing Feng divorcing her husband, a gay man, and losing her son and money, was not an easy process. For these women, in China known as the "gay wives," or Tongqi, who unwittingly marry closeted gay men, the road to a successful divorce is often a rocky one due to obstruction from their husbands and a lack of clear legal support.